


A New Hunger

by TinderWulf



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Alternate Universe, Kink Meme, Multi, Post-War, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-25
Updated: 2012-10-25
Packaged: 2017-11-17 01:06:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 6,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/545827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TinderWulf/pseuds/TinderWulf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fill for the Kink-Meme: “The kink meme has endured and the Normandy crew reflects on the various situations the fandom has put them in.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I had meant to make a serious detailed filled, but I did not wish any authors upset if they thought their fics were being made fun of or abused in any way, so I kept it vague and very lighthearted. Just some silliness and smut.
> 
> Disclaimer: Bioware owns all, except the candy or the movies. The candy belongs to Nestle, or Hershey...not sure, but now I want some. The movies to their respective owners. I own nothing and make no profits from this.

“So? You've paused for five seconds, EDI. I'm beginning to get worried.”

“It is passable. It is not the best fill you have written, Commander, but I think it will suffice.”

Shepard sighs, “This is what I get for agreeing to a sequel. And for writing one about me. Unfortunately, the whole dominate Sparatus was all I could think of. ”

“To be fair, Commander, sequels are difficult because of the already high expectations of the same quality of the one that came before it. I find it admirable that you would complete such a challenge. And one that you really had no experience in. I think you did very well.”

“Thank you, EDI.”

“You are welcome. Would you like to begin your day now that you have posted your fill?”

Shepard stands and stretches, “Yes, I would. Just let me make a quick prompt I haven't been able to get out of my head.”

“I have made a prompt as well.”

“Really? Which one?” Shepard raised a brow at EDI's pause. “EDI?”

EDI sighed, nearly making Shepard laugh. “A prompt with Jeff, myself, and a zero gravity chamber.”

“You know, EDI, I can ask the geth to make something to fit in the cargo hold to help if you would like me to.”

“Thank you, Commander. I will confer with Jeff before I decide.”

“Okay, just let me know. I'm going to shower and get ready for the day.”

“See you soon. Logging you out.”

– – – 

**FemShep/Male LI**  
Posted by anonymous  
FemShep is surprised by random male cooking for her. Chicken Fajitas are a favorite but anything normal would do. Cheeseburger and fries, etc. LI can be any male. Favs: Kal'Reegar, Hackett, Garrus, Thane, or an OC non-human (drell or quarian would do!). 

Bonus:  
-Chocolate cake for dessert.   
-Brings to cabin  
-A smidge of backstory or noncrew member LI's, such as how they began. Doesn't need to go into a lot of detail  
-Sex is not required but would be a huge bonus, especially with non-crew LI choices. 

– –

Now if she can just get through her day without daydreaming about it. Hopefully someone will fill it. 

Shepard had found the kink-meme by accident. Post-war was really...slow. Sure there were always supplies to deliver, meetings to attend, and hands to shake. But with everyone being so damn civil, there really wasn't much for the Normandy and her crew to do. 

Some of her crew read, some learned painting, others learned to cook. Now they had time for hobbies. Hobbies outside of gun mods and tweaking armor. 

Shepard bought all of the ship/shuttle models she could find. Her fish tank was full. She couldn't draw a stick figure to save her life and she preferred people didn't know she could cook. It was EDI who had told her that perhaps reading a story or two of some fan fiction might help relax Shepard, helping her fall asleep. So, Shepard had gone to the extranet site NormandyFanFiction.extnet, and began reading. She had followed a link to the kink-meme after seeing it mentioned dozens of times, finding the far more perverted stories. Shepard was hooked instantly. So was EDI.

Shepard read many fills and seconded many prompts before she finally decided to try her hand at a fill. 

Councilor Sparatus' first blow job...no problem!

Actually, it had taken her days to write the short fic. She was a little weirded out writing about herself in third person, especially since it involved a man she wanted to whack upside the head most of the time. Now of course, she would love nothing more than to hide under Sparatus' desk and fulfill her fill. 

Stupid kink-meme.

Shepard dressed and headed to the mess hall. Time for breakfast.   
– – – –   
As she exited the elevator she heard Joker laughing, “Listen, listen to this one! This prompter wants a LI to cook for Shepard.” Shepard paled. _NO._

“What's so funny about that?” This from Garrus. 

“There is nothing wrong with cooking a hard working woman a meal now and then.” _Thank you, Samantha!_ Shepard took a breath closing her eyes, then opened them to move forward. They didn't know she was the one that prompted that. Or that she wrote fills.

Then Garrus _hummed_ , “That's interesting.” _Why do I have a sudden need to see Garrus in a cooking apron?_

“I do not understand the reason for this....meme?” _Thane. Just continue walking, grab you tray, eat it, and go do something that makes you look busy._

“Here, go there and read the fics that star you. People want you baaaad, Thane. The ladies love that silent, snuggley, deadly assassin type.”

“I see.”

Shepard was pretty sure he didn't. She was sure he had no idea. Shepard's mind was such a whore.

“There is a somewhat new author anonymous that just posted a sequel to _Hide_. I'm going to read it. The first one was so hot! Even if it was that stuck-up turian. The author isn't very good at writing. Well...the words are fine I guess, it is more the format.”

“Most of the authors that post there just write the stories for fun, Jeff.”

“How do you know? Oh, wait. You've read every post and comment already.”

“Yes.”

Shepard was aroused. Damn it. Her imagination sees sexual things all the time now. Garrus and Thane's voices for instance. She hadn't really paid too much attention to the flanging and deep, delicious sounds they make. Now though, all she can think about is what they sound like in the throes of passion.

She sat down at the head of the table, Garrus on her left and Thane on her right. She ignored their questioning glances. She hoped her mask passed off as normal. She also ignored when their knees grazed hers as they shifted in their seats, because they always grazed each other. _Damn meme putting thoughts in my head._.


	2. Chapter 2

Ashley sat down on the couch taking advantage of the empty observation room. She heard Joker talking about this kink-meme and she had to admit, she was curious. When she got there however, she was overwhelmed with the amount of content. Of course it wasn't just humans, but Ashley hadn't been expecting it to be so popular. 

She read the rules and followed a link to an archive, which was perfect. It would allow her to narrow down her results. 

_char:Ashley_

Wow. There was still so many!

_Filled_Requests_

The mod must work really hard to keep this all sorted so well. Ah, much better.

What is with all the Ashley/Wrex stories? Damn it. Wrex probably squealed. Damn krogan didn't know how to keep his mouth shut. Even Shepard didn't know about Wrex. Or if she did, she at least pretended not to. 

Wow...so many for her and Shepard together. That is just plain weird! _Now I'm not going to be able to look at her without thinking about these stories._

Jackpot. Ashley/Kaidan pairings. Perfect. 

“EDI, do I have to be anywhere?”

“No, Ms. Williams. Your day is clear.”

“Thank you, and please lock the door. I do not wish to be disturbed.”

“Of course. Logging you out.”

Let's see what they wrote...

– – – –

“Commander, you must leave for your appointment with Councilor Sparatus.”

“Thank you, EDI.”

Shepard stepped into the airlock, Garrus and Thane stepping in behind her. 

“Where you off to, Shepard?”

“Meeting with the turian councilor.”

“Oh? Would the meeting go anything like this one?”

Garrus held up his omnitool showing the _Hide_ fill Shepard had written. She pretended to read over it a bit, keeping her commander face on. “No. I didn't know you were into porn, Garrus.”

“Huh. Isn't that interesting, Thane?”

“Indeed.” Shepard's heart rate sped up. “By your lack of reaction this morning, we assume you know of this...kink-meme?”

 _Fuck. Me. Sideways._ “I've seen it.”

“What do you think about this one...” Garrus held up his omnitool in front of her face again while she desperately prayed the decontamination cycle would finish. Oh, no. It's the prompt she put up this morning. 

“Good to know someone is thinking of taking care of me. Even if they are anonymous.” 

[Decontamination Cycle Complete. The commanding officer is ashore, XO Vakarian is ashore, Major Alenko has the deck.]

 _Saved!_ “Gotta go, running late!” Shepard hauled ass out of there.  
– –   
“You should check out some of these stories, Thane.”

“Perhaps, but later. I have lunch with Kolyat.”

“And I have lunch with my father.”

The men parted ways at the transport station, both on a mission to try and enjoy their lunch.  
– 

_Commander,_

_I apologize. I had asked Jeff about the zero gravity chamber and I showed him where I got the idea. I did not predict he would share the site. I should have._

_He did however, support the zero gravity prompt. We would be glad for any assistance. I think this would reduce Jeff's stress levels by an additional 32.8726 percent, and eliminate approximately 64.072957 percent of his boredom. Dr. Chakwas also supports this to help ease Jeff's muscle aches from sitting in the pilot's seat._

_You need not worry about your identity being compromised. I took extra measures to protect it when you began commenting on the meme._

_EDI_


	3. Chapter 3

Shepard managed to get through the meeting with Councilor Sparatus with very little distraction. Sure he was an attractive man, but last she heard, he had a mistress. That didn't stop her from appreciating his hips and back when he was facing the window though. Not has strong as Garrus, but not bad for a man who spent most of his time behind a desk.

“Of course, sir. I will look into it quietly. Should I find out your mistress is the one...”

“Then it is best I know. While I do not love her, I do respect her. But if she is stealing from my son, I will have her head.”

“I will let you know what I find.”

“Shepard, I have managed to keep this quiet. No one knows I watch my bank accounts so closely.”

“Understood.”

Who would steal money from a child? Someone stupid.

–

“EDI, I need a safe line to send a message.”

[Ready, Commander.]

_Li,_

_Someone is stealing money from the turian councilors kid. Can you run a few scans for me and track it?_

_-Shep_

Shepard received an affirmative immediately. Fantastic. 

– – – – 

With Garrus back on the deck, Kaidan could go off duty. Right on time too. This is usually when he sat down to watch that detective show with Ashley. When he got to the observation room however, the door glowed red. _Did I forget something again?_

“Ms. Williams wished to not be disturbed, Major.”

“Thank you.”

It was their only quality time today and damn it, he wanted to relax. Kaidan looked around quickly, seeing no one, before he hacked the door. Well, EDI let him hack the door anyway. Kaidan knows she could prevent him from opening it.

“The consequences are yours, Major Alenko.”

The door shut quickly behind him. He expected to see Ashley readying the vid screen...not reading. Wait a minute, was she...flushed?

“Do you have a fever, Ash? Do you need me to get Doctor Chakwas?”

She squeaked, actually squeaked. Kaidan's brows rose at the blush that made it's way up her throat, the guilty look on her face before she masked it.

“What are you reading?”

“N-nnothing.”

Kaidan held out his hand locking eyes with Ashley until she finally gave in and handed the datapad over. What he was reading though made his jaw drop, his eyebrows raise, and his cock twitch. 

“You are reading a..what is this, fan fiction? You are reading a fan fiction story on me dominating you.”

“Uh huh.” Ash whispered breathlessly.

“And you are enjoying it?”

“Uh huh. Please don't be mad! It's just that this author wrote you so well and it made it so believable....”

“On your feet, Williams!”

“Aye, Sir.” She stood quickly, out of instinct.

Kaidan stepped forward in her personal space, just like a drill sergeant, “I expect you to put on a dress, with heels, and your make-up and hair fixed. You will meet me in the Presidium Luxury Hotel at eighteen hundred. Clear?”

“Aye, aye sir!”

“No panties.” Then he walked out, datapad in hand, to read exactly what got her so hot and bothered. Then he would need to go shopping. Mostly for condoms. 

Kaidan new he was a nice guy. He was pretty submissive some of the time. Okay most of the time, but he didn't think their sex life had been lacking. Ashley had never complained before. He would show her he could be _believably_ dominating. 

Oh, look. Light bondage too. This would definitely be fun.

– – – –


	4. Chapter 4

“Heh. Looks like this kink-meme enjoys pairing us together, Esteban.”

“Indeed it does.”

“Just so you know, I've never been interested in men before.”

“Then why have you been staring at my ass for the last ten minutes, Mr. Vega?” James stuttered and blushed. Steve laughed. Damn these anonymous people putting dirty thoughts into his mind. It wasn't cool. James grunted when Steve slapped his ass as he walked by. “See you in our quarters, dear.”

Shit. How was he supposed to lay in the bed knowing Steve was sleeping above him. Tanned skin, bright blue eyes, perfect lips. Perfect ass. _Mierda!_   
–   
Two hours later, freshly showered, James entered the small quarters he shared with Steve. The room was dark, Steve likely asleep already. James stripped down to his boxer briefs and white tank top, then crawled into bed. What he had not expected was his bed already being occupied. “Que?”

“Mmm. What took you so long, Mr. Vega.”

“Esteban, what the hell man. You okay?” James laid frozen as Steve turned over, throwing his leg on James' leg, Steve's fingers slipping inside the thin tank top.

“Fine. Wanted to ask which fic is your favorite.”

 _Please, please, please don't. Mierda._ Too late, the images conjured from the simple question sent jolts of electricity to his groin. “I don't think it's been written yet, Esteban.”

“Then let us remedy that.”

– – – – 

“Jeff, did you predict that your sharing of the kink-meme would aid in the relationships of several crew members?”

Joker snorted, “Hell, no. Why? You have a secret don't you?”

“We all have secrets, Jeff.”

“You aren't going to tell me are you? Well that's not fair.”

EDI continued to monitor systems as they ran a systems check. She occasionally flipped through security monitors, temporarily blocking Joker's access to camera feeds where people were...releasing tension. 

She also continuously checked the kink-meme for the Normandy crew and one for Galaxy of Fantasy. There are several more she checks, but these two hold her fascination. 

– – – – 

“Interesting. Salarian low sex-drive, yet people on kink-meme obsessed with salarians. Would never copulate with Kirrahe. Major Cloaca. Then again. Maybe. Attractive, good career, good bloodline.” Mordin huffed. “Very impressive.”

Mordin quickly read through a few fics featuring him. There were even some that didn't have sex in it. More intellectual and emotional attachment. Those were well written. Had to be if lacking sex on a kink-meme. 

Mordin finished, pleased with the way the author finished up the fill, then he left his compliments on the fills. They were all well done.

“Impressed. Even fills that contained sex were enjoyable to read.”

Mordin hummed as he looked through a microscope, getting a closer look at the seashell chip under the lens. He stood abruptly, shrugged into his jacket, and left the ship. 

_I am the very model of a scientist salarian....but perhaps will try to see what others do, and of course enjoy an evening of fun. Seashells will be there when I get back._  
– – – – 

Garrus refilled Shepard's chocolate stashes while Thane refilled the mini-fridge with Shepard's favorite drinks. The men did this regularly. Shepard was their best friend and they wanted to make sure she was always at her best. Although they both found it somewhat difficult during what Joker called _shark week_.

Tonight was their movie night. All three had been waiting to watch an old classic called _Die Hard 4.0_. The first three had been awesome for old movies. 

“Think we are all set. Better feed the pets on the way out.”

“Gentlemen, did you know that tomorrow is Shepard's birthday?”

The men looked at each other in slight panic before thanking EDI, both mentally making plans to pick her up a gift.


	5. Chapter 5

Shepard looked at the evidence and eliminated people on her list. This was looking less like an internal thing and more like a greedy bank attendant. She would need more time to let the traces continue to track the money.

It was early evening when Shepard left the clothing store, new sleep and lounge wear in tow. It would be nice to have cotton clothes to sleep in. 

“Commander! Would you like a free kitten?”

Since when did the Citadel allow pets other than fish? “He is adorable, but I'm afraid I can't even remember to feed the pets I have. I don't know how they've survived as long as they have.” 

A white kitten covered in reddish, brown, and black markings caught her attention. “Hey little guy.” Shepard felt guilt when they kitten meowed at her. “I know, I'm sorry.” 

Shepard had to walk away quickly before she ended up taking home another pet she forgot to feed. How many fish and space hamsters had she gone through anyway? She sighed, putting the tiny meow out of her mind.

Shepard walked by a clothing store catering to mixed species, something catching her eye. She smiled deviously. She _had_ to.

– – – – 

Thane had been following her for some time as she walked through the districts, shopping for clothes. 

“Sir, would you like a free kitten?”

“Perhaps, is this the one the woman there was looking at?”

“Yes, sir. He is the only one left.” Thane lifted the small, furry creature out of the box. “He's been fixed, has all his shots, and he can be trained to use the toilet. I trained his mother.”

“Interesting. May I have the box as well? And directions to a place that sells food for it.”

The young woman smiled, “Absolutely!”

_[Garrus, meet me here { Location Attached} immediately. I have found a gift for Shepard.]_

– – 

“Joker, the deck is yours, I need to run an errand.”

“You know, Garrus, we are on shore leave. An executive officer doesn't _need_ to be on board.”

“I know, but this is the best way in case someone gets picked up by C-Sec.”

“Yeah, yeah. Go, I'll try not to scratch her paint while you're gone.”

With Garrus gone Joker returned his attention to the story in front of him. These people were some kinky freaks. In a good way of course. 

“I contacted Legion per Shepard's permission and requested something to be built into the cargo hold.”

“EDI, I don't want people to know we are doing the nasty in there.”

“I also have valid reason for you to use the chamber twice a day.”

“You win.”

“I always do, Jeff.”

Jeff snorted, unwilling to say aloud that he knew it to be true.

– – – – 

Liara blushed furiously as she read a story on her datapad. She wouldn't be too surprised if Feron had left it here to make her blush like this. She may be the Shadow Broker, she may have hardened over the last years, but she always blushed when sex was talked about and it seemed it didn't escape his attention. 

Feelings? No problem. Dirty talk? Blush.

She could not see herself doing this. With Feron. Did Feron want this? Liara sighed. Perhaps he just put it here to tease her about it later. 

She let her work mask slip on when Glyph notified her about new information for Shepard. Liara sometimes thought the VI had a crush on Shepard. She was the only one Glyph traded pleasantries with. 

Interesting. She quickly sent the information to Shepard before sticking her blue nose back into the datapad. 

Would Feron let her spank him and call him a bad, bad boy? Archeologist spanking the student. A kink she may very well find herself liking.  
\-----------

“Bailey, make the arrest. Classified under Spectre authority.”

“Of course, Commander. I do love less paper work.”

Shepard smiled, “Don't we all.”

Two hours later Shepard was back in the turian councilors office giving her report.

“Looks like your financial adviser was skimming from the credits you transferred to your sons savings account thinking you wouldn't notice. You weren't the only one he was stealing from either. Several other politician's and high profile celebrities. They have been notified by me.”

Shepard transferred information from her omnitool over to an encrypted datapad for the councilor. “This holds a list of qualified bankers who pass a very, _very_ thorough background check. I would suggest one of them to overlook your finances.”

“Thank you, Commander, for taking care of such a personal matter for me. I know it is not one of your duties.”

“I was here, and it was very little trouble, so think nothing of it, Sir. Besides, I like kids. Can't go punishing your son just because I thought you a complete ass at one point.” Shepard couldn't help but smile teasingly.

Councilor Sparatus chuckled softly, “But not anymore? I need to work harder then.”

“Good luck with that, Sir. I've already seen what you hide under that mask. But don't worry, your secret is safe with me.” Shepard pointed to the datapad again, “Might I suggest the first one. He is mine and he is fantastic. Also, he knows I will rip him apart limb by limb should he screw with my money, or any people I refer to him. Just let him know I referred you.”

“Are you sure you aren't part krogan?”

Shepard laughed loudly at that. “Have a good day, Councilor.”

“You too, Shepard, and thank you again.”

Shepard left the office in high spirits. It always felt good to catch bad guys. She received a few amused looks from those who recognized the turian tune she was humming as she walked to the elevators. 

It was after dinner time and she was hungry.


	6. Chapter 6

Shepard moaned in delight when she took a bite of her barbeque roast beef sandwich with tomato and lettuce. 

“That good is it?”

“You have no idea, Bubba. Nothing beats coming to see you when I'm on shore leave. You know how to feed me.”

The older scarred man laughed as he dried bar mugs. The joint was a nice bar and grill. Fairly popular for humans from the mid-western and southern states in the United States. _Bubba's Bar & Grill_ was Shepard's favorite and first place to go to when she was on the Citadel. 

“My chef knows just how you like your sandwich, Shep.”

“Who's your chef?” She barely got the words out of her mouth when Kolyat came out of the kitchen through the swinging door.

“The timer went off for those ribs you are smoking.”

“Thanks, kid. Be back in a minute, Shep.”

Shepard took in Kolyat's white chef jacket only slightly dirty which surprised her. Barbeque places were messy. It was a compliment when the customers asked for more napkins.

“You made this?”

“Yeah.” He fidgeted nervously. “The first time I've smoked roast beef without supervision.”

“Apprentice?”

“Yes.” Kolyat twisted his hands together.

“Do you enjoy your work, Kolyat?”

“I love it. Bubba let's me play with recipes at home and he tastes my experiments, giving me honest feedback.”

Shepard nodded as she licked some stray sauce from her finger. “Well, kid. You've got one hell of a knack for this. It isn't often someone gets to use their talent in day-to-day work, so if you love it, then go for it.”

“It's okay?” Kolyat asked nervously, pointing to the sandwich Shepard was consuming.

“Okay? Hell no. It's fucking amazing. I'm going to be ruined for any other barbeque place.”

“Thanks, Shepard.”

“You're welcome, kid. Just wait 'til I brag to your father that his son bested him on cooking.”

Kolyat returned to the kitchen smiling and standing a little taller. Shepard smiled as she wiped up the last of the sauce with her fries. She was glad he finally found something he was passionate about.   
–

_[Thane, your son makes the most amazing barbeque sandwich in the entire galaxy. I'm not even kidding. It seems he found his path. He is happy here and passionate for cooking. Good choice if you ask me, especially when I get to eat it! Yum!! -S]_

–

Thane smiled as he read the message. He was glad his son found something he enjoyed. 

“What did you wish the name to be, sirs?”

Garrus and Thane exchanged looks as they tried to figure out what to call the kitten that was currently meowing in the box. 

“What about that flying animal those wardens rode in that old game she likes so much?”

Thane slipped into memory, quickly finding the word Garrus was trying to find. “Griffon?”

“Yes, how about that?”

Thane nodded, “If she doesn't she can always change it.”

After waiting the ten minutes for Griffon's new tags, the elderly gentlemen helped them choose proper food and toys as well as a training manual to train the kitten to use a toilet, and of course, kitty litter for back up. 

“What color of collar do you want for Griffon?”

The men stared at a wall covered in different collars. The each chose two, adding them to the cart Garrus was pushing back towards to front of the store to pay for their goods. 

Thirty minutes later they are in Shepard's cabin, setting everything up for her birthday. A gift basket filled with cat toys and collars, the kitty litter and pan in the bathroom for now, and the kitten still sitting in the same box, save for a giant purple bow on the front. After making sure the kitten was sleeping, the men left quietly, asking EDI to keep an ear out for the cat.

The men returned to their separate quarters to find a gift wrapped box on their bunks. Garrus entered Life Support before Thane could read the note.

“Did you get one of these?”

“Yes, I was just about to read the note.”

The men took the old fashioned paper note off the ribbon and began reading.

_Hey boys! Wear this to movie night c: I got me one too!_

They traded looks before lifting the lids off the boxes. They stared in shock and slight horror as they realized just what Shepard had bought them. 

“Blasto pajamas?”

Garrus began laughing, “That is just like her. She loves those damn movies.”

“This is...”

“It could be worse, Thane. They could be pink.”

Thane had to silently agree as he took in the large hanar holding weapons on the black tank top, and the pants covered in tiny hanar with the words “Enkindle this!” surrounding them. Garrus' was exactly the same. A turian tank top version, but in blue instead of black.

“I wonder what color Shepard's are.”

“No telling with her.”

Thane agreed. She was a bit unpredictable.

“Well, we better get ready and get up there before she does.”

[The Commander is currently looking over cargo manifests in the cargo hold. If you are quick, I can get you to her cabin before she calls for the elevator.]

“Thank you, EDI.”

[You are quite welcome.]


	7. Chapter 7

Samantha read feverishly, her face heated. There were so many stories on the kink-meme. She was horrified. And aroused. She was going to have to show Kelly.

1821: Kelly, read this one. Attached Link

[1833: Oh my. That was wonderful.]

1833: Yes it was! I was fanning myself there towards the end. 

[1835: Are we still up for clubbing?]

1835: Yes, though I admit I am a bit nervous. 

[1835: Don't be! I found the perfect place to help you have fun outside of a chess tournament and work.]

1836: I don't know...

[1837: Then we can act out that story we just read.]

1837: Oh that's unfair! I'm in.

[1837: Checkmate. ^_^]

– – – – 

Karin sipped her brandy as she read a story about her and Zaeed. They almost had it right. There were more restraints and of course, more cursing on Zaeed's end. The man really didn't handle loss of control well. Even if his body said differently.

_”You daft bitch! Release the goddamn restraints!”_

_“Now, now, Zaeed. You should never treat your doctor so poorly. Especially when she has access to scalpels.” Zaeed growled while Karin used the scalpel to expertly cut the seams in his tight under armor pants. “You should consider behaving and I wouldn't have to tie you down.”_

_Karin watched in amusement as Zaeed tried to will his body to stop becoming aroused as he cursed in krogan. There wasn't much time to get what she wanted before the night shift was over._

_She slipped off her uniform pants leaving the tight, form fitting shirt, before climbing on top of Zaeed's exposed groin. His wrists and ankles still bound to the bed by leather. Zaeed's arousal was hard to miss. Thick and leaking._

_She didn't bother with a condom. Karin knew he was clean and so was she. Plus, she was on birth-control as well._

_She slipped down over him taking him inside her slowly, in the mostly dark medbay. As soon as he was completely buried within her she began riding him. She took pleasure greedily, knowing it wouldn't take long for her to climax. They had been playing this cat and mouse game for far too long._

_Zaeed growled, cursed, moaned, and fought against the leather restraints while her nails dug into his naked chest. Then she was moaning as her body shuddered through her orgasm as Zaeed thrusted up inside of her as best he could with his ankles strapped to the bed. He climaxed with her tongue in his mouth, Karin swallowing his moans._

_“Never thought a woman would be able to tie me down and take advantage of me.”_

_“Well, that is what you get for playing games with a doctor.”_

_Zaeed hummed in acknowledgment as Karin quickly stitched up the under armor pants she had cut open minutes before. “Maybe we should do this again sometime, next time when I am less injured.”_

_“Maybe.”, Karin said teasingly._

She smiled at the memory. They had too. Still did when Zaeed hitched a ride. The old man was just as fond of Shepard as Karin was. Plus, it helped that there was now a bed in his old quarters. Karin was sure Shepard knew of the odd relationship between Karin and Zaeed, seeing how Shepard always scheduled the stand-by medics to take more shifts when Zaeed was aboard. 

– – – – 

Shepard nearly squealed upon entering her cabin. Thane and Garrus were standing in front of her bed in their pajamas, barefoot and each holding a present.

While she can be immature at times, she prides herself on not giggling and squealing like a school girl. Though, there are times when the situation calls for it. Like this one.

“You guys! They look great!”

She also secretly enjoyed their bare feet and naked arms. She was admiring them when she heard the meow. She looked back to the somewhat familiar box in Thane's hands.

“So, what do you two have there.” Shepard hid the growing excitement the best she could, but they knew her too well.

“Why don't you drop the mask and come look, Shepard.”

She did as Garrus commanded, immediately cooing as soon as she saw what Thane was holding. “Oh my gosh! You were following me weren't you? He's so cute, c'mere. Oh, and he has tags! You named him Griffon! So perfect, you are so cuuuute.”

Garrus and Thane watched the display in amusement. It wasn't often she was like this and when she was it was because of either animals or babies. Baby animals getting the silliest reaction.

“You guys are the best!”

Then she was looking at the potty training book while nuzzling the purring kitten. Garrus and Thane took the time to prepare the bed for movie night, as well as the vid screen. 

Shepard had changed before they finished, coming back into the main room empty handed.

“Where's Griffon?”

“Bathroom. I figure it best while we watch the movie.”


	8. Chapter 8

About halfway through the movie Shepard reached back to grab a chocolate from her nearly empty bowl but loosed a noise of confusion when her hand met a full bowl.

“I don't know who keeps refilling all my stashes when they are low, or how they even know where they all are, but I could kiss them right now.”

Shepard popped the chocolate in her mouth letting it melt before she used her tongue to squish it to the roof of her mouth.

“Well you see, Thane refills the fridge and I refill the bowls, so you owe us both a kiss.”

Shepard quickly gave both men a kiss on the cheek or mandible before returning her attention to the movie playing. She was currently snug in between her two favorite men on her bed, all three decked out in matching pajamas, Shepard's a dark purple color. Thane's cooler body on her right, and Garrus' warmer body on her left.

“Garrus also feeds the fish while I feed your hamster. I believe that deserves a kiss as well, Siha.”

“I'm in agreement.” Garrus replied smirking.

“So you guys are the reason my animals haven't died yet? You really are the best.”

Once again Shepard gave them a quick peck before returning her attention to the awesome vid.

“I don't know, Thane. I had expected human kisses to be a little more....wet.”

“Indeed.”

Shepard raised her brow at their disappointed tones. Swallowing the last of her chocolate she turned to Thane, using her right hand to pull him down to her lips. He stiffened only briefly before grazing his tongue over her bottom lip, asking for entrance.

Shepard had not expected that, but how could she not allow it? She'd thought about it many times. She opened her mouth to him the same time she felt nibbling on her left ear. She was unable to keep the moan from leaving her throat and entering Thane's mouth. He kissed her passionately, greedily before he abruptly pulled back. 

Before she could speak, Garrus turned her to him whispering, “Show me.” before his soft leathery mouth plates were hovering over her lips. Thane's mouth and teeth kissed and nibbled on the right side of her, Garrus' hands touching and exploring on the left. Garrus caught on quickly, both men easily leaving Shepard aroused and breathless while their erections pressed up against her hips.

She squeezed them both lightly causing the men to moan and thrust up against her while their mouths feasted on her neck and lips. Both taking turns tasting her. 

They sat up, Shepard immediately feeling the emptiness they left behind, and removed her clothing quickly. They worked together, predicting each others movements just like they did in battle. It was arousing. Shepard squeezed her thighs together as she watched them stand and disrobe.

Thane was done first, which didn't surprise her. Neither man seemed to be uncomfortable being naked in front of each other, both of their attention completely focused on her. 

Shepard pushed Thane onto his pack as soon as he rejoined her on the bed. She wasted no time in getting him inside her. His hands gripped her hips as she rode him, grinding her hips down into his. Thane moved a hand to her neck, pulling her down to seal his lips with hers. Shepard's nipples grazed Thane's chest, his cool scales hardening them further as her climax neared.


	9. Chapter 9

Thane returned his hand to Shepard's hips, holding her against him, as her rocking and grinding became erratic. Then she was moaning into his mouth and breathing in his air as their open mouths pressed against each other. He bent his legs for leverage as he thrust up into her. He thrust hard and fast, needing the release that was closing in. Thane wrapped his arms around her, pulling her as close to him as he could before finding his release. His body shuddering, her lips on his neck as soon as he had arched back, silent moans he knew she could feel vibrating out from him.

Thane kissed her gently before removing himself from her and nodding to Garrus. Shepard was on her back, her hair splayed out over her pillow, before she could blink. Then Garrus was inside of her. 

Shepard arched her back and moaned at the different feeling inside of her. The men were about the same size but the texture and temperature was different. Thane was ridges where Garrus was bumps. Thane was cooler and Garrus was warmer. It was amazing. They were both amazing.

Garrus leaned down on his forearm as she wrapped her legs around his waist. He took in her scent as he thrust into her. He was close already. Watching her ride Thane had been highly arousing. Garrus slowed, wanting her to peak before he did. But she seemed to know what he was thinking.

“I won't be able to orgasm again, Garrus. At least not for several hours. Please, take me like you want. I want to feel your need.”

Garrus growled, thrusting hard into her again. He came undone when her blunt nails dug into his back, between the plates. Then he was moaning into her neck, his secondary vocals cutting in and out of her hearing range. 

– 

All three were breathing heavy as they found comfortable snuggling positions. Shepard still in middle. 

Garrus was first to come back from his high. “Well...that was more like what I had been expecting.”

Shepard snorted as Thane added his thoughts on the matter. 

“Agreed.”

Garrus continues, “I'm just not sure what that kiss was for.”

“The kiss was for the kitten.” Shepard replied.

Thane nuzzled her right cheek, “And the rest?”

“You can blame the kink-meme.”

“Perhaps we should thank them, what do you think Garrus?”

“I'm inclined to agree, Thane. You do realize that you are stuck with us now, Shepard.”

“I'm totally cool with that. Going to need someone to keep me from killing my newest pet.” She continued, pretending not to hear their light, playful warning growls. “And to keep refilling my stashes.” Then she smiled, pulling their arms to cross more snugly under her breasts, “And to of course...” Both men began the kiss and nuzzle her neck, “...feed my fish and hamster.” 

She laughed outright when they both rose and gave her the exact look. A raised, unamused brow.

“Oh look, we can watch the rest of the movie, allowing my body to recover before you two jump me again.”

“You started it, Shepard.”

Shepard looked over to Garrus, “How the hell did I start it? You were the one who asked for a kiss.”

“I was talking about the chocolate. I refilled the bowl with the special kind. So I can eat them too.”

Thane and Garrus chuckled at Shepard's shocked expression.

“Do not worry, Siha. By the time your lips touched mine, we were all thinking of the same thing.”

–

When Shepard awoke the following morning, it was to some minor aches, pains, and irritated skin. She was not looking forward to explaining this to Mordin. But when Thane rejoined her and Garrus on the bed wearing only his pajama pants with a kitten on his shoulder, she found herself not caring....

And silently thanking the kink-meme and its many anonymous author's and prompters for putting such arousing thoughts in her head. She would not have considered this otherwise.


End file.
